Sing a song so Juvenile

‘Jessica was a worthy child’

‘but let Jessi take her place’

‘Make haste’

‘Lay waste’

‘For her death is why we’re here’

‘Burn her body’

‘Let it rust’

‘For Jessi is the king that we trust’

I was told not to share my problems

I complain to much

Because what I have inside of me

Is enough to garner me empathy

But only for a time or two

I need to stay silent

And far away

Because up close and personal

It isn’t enough

To keep contempt and revenge

From sneaking in

I was told to keep my mouth shut

By a friend of a friend of a friend

If only to remain unseen

So they can be seen as clean

A church of Echos

Why is no one listening to me

Screams the child in the church pew

Grandfathers hand down their top

And grandmothers over their mouth

Mom and dad standing at the opposite ends

Trying not to listen to the shouts

But that is not what gave the room pause

Over there sits a little boy with a gun in his lap

And rewards on his jacket

Drawing up a dagger and slicing into a peer

Color coded lettering screaming

Why is no one listening

But move the camera preacher man

Over there you’ll see

A girl squating over pill bottles chocking them down with ease

Shitting out insta likes

As the wolves paw at her feet

The shacking of the pills bottles gives a signal

As hands reach to spread her knees

Why is no one listening to me

Down the asle lies a bible

Covered in well wishes and kisses

Thumbs up with well intentions

It holds the congregations attention

As the preacher man walks by

with gleam in his eye

Giving twisted smile to the lost boys

And waving at the confused girls

Praising the mothers and fathers

Only to step past the blooded child

A friend like me

A/N for some odd reason this posted as a blank page. So lets see if we can try this again.

I wanted to hurt you
So I wouldn’t be alone
Wanted to make you hate
So I wouldn’t do it on my own
I ignored all the signs
That said you where near your end
In my rush to find a like minded friend
I destroyed what made you good
I just wanted someone beside me
Who would suffer as I did
I didn’t see it as a problem
I felt that, overtime, our pain would solve them
I didn’t see you gasp for help
Was to busy cutting you like everyone else
As you lay bleeding in my image
I felt that we could win this
What a terrible friend was I
To live you alone to die
I just wanter you to suffer
Wanted you like no other
But I never wanted to be alone

How to pass

Midterm season is upon us! As my peers and I wallow in self doubt and loathing for our teachers, let us gather around and try to think of the good in life.

Did I mention I failed my first midterm test?

Yep, I, lover of all things psycho, failed my psychology midterm.

Yet I managed to pass my philosophy test. You know, the class that walks hand in hand with each other as all fated minds to.

Question!

How the FREAK did I manage to fail one yet pass the other when they had virtually the same questions.

I am just baffled by the fact that I royally screwed up on one but managed to conjure up an A with the other. A solid 97% people….97%

Someone explain this!

Ok ok but this post talks about how to pass. Not how to fail so epically that one questions the very reason they breathe.

I would like to point out that I am still passing psychology but only with a B. It was lower after the test but I forgot how low it got and just brought it up to a B. I think it was a low C for a few days.

So how did I manage to pass you didn’t ask??

Well the honest answer is…I have no clue. The B.S answer, and this is the one I am sticking to if family and friends ask, is that I studied my ass off everyday. I asked questioned when need and didn’t use the sources found on Wikipedia pages *chokes on obvious lies* .

Now that spring break is upon us, or ending for some of you, let us go back to our roots of total disinterest in our futures because our caretakers pretty much did everything for. Go out in the world and adult the hardest you have ever adulted before but never lose focus on the fact we all suck before we die. So try your hardest to do all the things.

A/N this is a Petty Poet Verse Advise. Please ignore the rantings of this obvious lunatic and remember that you are valued and loved. Your grades do not define who you truly are as a person. Be proud of who you are and all that you accomplish. Sure you may not always get the grade you want but you still matter. You are still important and no matter what you will make it through this.

From the words of a petty person to the next. You are worth it.

7 Deadly Sins

As a kid I took a lot of personality test. There was a site devoted to them and I spent pretty much all day trying to figure out who I was.

Now this wasn’t your normal ‘Pick a word that best describes you ‘ quiz.

No, this was those quizzes where you tried to figure out what animal best represents you or those quizzes where you got to figure out how emo are you. Personal favorite was me going through all the tv shows to figure out whose personality fit me best. Things that don’t always tell a person who they are exactly. Just fun quizzes that meant the world to me.

Through all of this I took a quiz where it said which 7 Deadly Sin am I most like. I pretty much always got Lust.

I feel like I was a, excuse my language, one bad bitch for getting Lust. Have you seen the representation Lust gets on various TV shows. So that must mean I am somewhat good looking right!?

Well…no. See it wasn’t till I was older that I truly got what the 7 Deadly Sins were…or…are.

It was actually Dantes’ Inferno that set me straight. What a wonderful day that was. 10 years old and discovering sin for the first time thanks to the works of Dante. And by good day I mean I had nightmares for days.

No longer did I want to be associated with Lust. It was scary as hell and I wanted no part of that noise.

I am 24 years old now.

I can’t say that the idea of Lust is anymore appealing but I do know I do have a fatal sin. I know what it is the enemies could use against me.

It isn’t Lust. It was never Lust. It is Envy, Gluttony , and Wrath.

I am envious of those around me. Not to a dangerous point but enough that if people where to read my mind they would hate me. They would judge me. It causes so many problems in my life.

Gluttony. I have a hard time stopping once I have what I want. I cling to it and obsess over it. I must have more and more. I am not good with limits or boundaries and and prone to crossing both to the extreme.

Wraith. My anger can be a ok poison. I am not a kind person when I want to be and it is hard to stop me once I get angry. I will rage for day or even years. I won’t ever forgive or forget.

Now these are my ideas of my sins. These are why I feel this way. I do believe that everyone suffers from all 7 but I also feel that someone people sin in one way over another. Those who are lustful may not always be greedy but they may still live with greed in their hearts.

Much like my childhood fascination with quizzes this may seem silly to some. That’s ok. I am doing this because I know what I need to work on. At least I think I do. These are things that I know that are holding me back in life. I want to change for the better. These sins may never go away, they are already seared into my soul, but at least I have a good idea of where I am going ^-^

Say it with me

I like the words low self-esteem. That makes it seem like there is hope. That one day it can come back.

Now zero self-esteem, that is a different story. That means there is no chance of it coming back without some outside help.

But how can we go about life lacking it and expect others to help us. We are always being told that if we do not love ourselves then no one else will love us. So what if a person hates themselves with a passion, does that mean that they will always be alone?

I like to think that there is a chance they can be happy. It will just take someone from the outside to help them see the light.

She used to be hopeful

She used to try

She used to smile

Once upon a time

A bright future a head of her

But her head in the clouds

She used to be normal

Then she was found

In a backend ally

With her knees on the ground

Surrounded by people

But lost in the sound

She used to be everything

She used to be love

Now she is nothing

Someone we all judge

Needle in her arm

And hate in her heart

How did this happen

What tore her world apart?

She used to be helpful

She used to be wise

She used to be everything

In her loved ones eyes

But now she is found

Laying in the ground

Surrounded by people

But lost in the sound

Of her own imagination

Of her own mistakes

She used to full of life

And now she slowly breaks

Needle in her arms

Blood on her legs

Crawling on the ground

To get away from the people

That roughly surround

She wants to be lost

Stuck in her own sound