A tiny goodbye

I never got the chance to know the stars. Those flickering scars that rob the sky. Bright blights that hindered my growth. I missed them. Though I promise I never would. Because she is not here to see them. For me, that is reason enough to get rid of them.

The ocean, I despise it. With every moment of the tide I die a little more inside. I rather it fade away. Or give me room to drown. Because I can not bare the sight, while she is no longer around.

These memories, they haunt me. I would rather forget. Because is not here to share in them. I see no reason to give in. To my brain hidden inclination, to remember a forgiving friend.

Search and Find

What was that feeling I just felt?

The one that made my body shake.

The one that made question fate?

What is it called

When my mind starts to fall

And my heart begins to beat

What is this emotion that makes it hard for me,

To stand on my own two feet?

I can’t seem to think

I can’t seem to find

The answer I know hides so very deep inside

What is this emotion called

When all the world begins to fade

When your very embrace

Makes me feel so whole

What is it called

And why can’t I remember it

Feels like forever since I last had a name for it

When was the last time I felt so alive?

When was the last time I felt I could survive.

In your warm arms I am at home

What is the word to describe  this so.

A/N there ya go. I tried to find the words and I still can’t seem to get it right. This is as close as I am going to get to what I felt when I first met ya.

I was lonely and needed a friend and you were there for me. It made me so happy… it still makes me so happy that I have you in my life. I thank the higher beings everyday for ya. Thank you so very much for all you do and put up with.

Ask and answer

I often ask myself silly questions I would not dare bring up to anyone else.

Thing that make me blush or smile. Things that make me cry awhile.

I ask myself these things because they help me feel alive.

For awhile I have the will to survive.

What kind of future will she have?

Will I be there or will I be dead?

How can I make her happy?

How will she feel if I hold her on my lap, even when she is 20?

I ask myself because I can.

I ask myself so that I may continue till the end.

Friend

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Friend…a person who is with you till the end but isn’t afraid to leave you if need be.
It is the one word I need to hear more then anything. For someone to call me friend.
For someone to not tell me they love me, but that they care for me enough to try. I rather not listen to the ‘I love you lie’

I have many people I know who care. But it is not enough. I am still missing something. See everyone who cares is far away. I can’t see their faces and know what they say is true. I just want someone to hold me close. To poke my sides when I am sad. To laugh at me and even with me. I can be funny you know. I can be silly. I can be kind. I can be smart.

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I just want someone to share it with.
I want a
Friend

They don’t need to love me.
Just cherish my company.

Not to tell me they love me, but that one day soon, they could.