Picket Fences and Daisy Drops

I’m sorry for thinking about what it will be like for us to grow old

Our links hands surrounded by hypothetical friends

Shared memories, this is only our beginning

And there is nothing stopping me from believing it will end

But I’m sorry for all the miscommunication

Stupid fights that ended in us breaking apart

I’m sorry for dreaming that we will last through time and dust

Because no matter what happens. It’s these dreams I will be left with

No matter what ends up being

It’s this future I will be forever grateful for dreaming

A heavy nightmare

I wanted to be someone. I think about that daily.

I wanted to be someone and yet I sit. I became nothing. I am not helpless, nor hopeless, nor lost. I am not broken from the wasted pages surrounding the computer desk. I am merely something that became nothing. A person less blob of what could have been.

I am still capable of many things. I can still write my way into a heap. Carefully singing old hymns of what once was. A dream instead of a dark memory. I am here cutting away and pasting little hopes I once held for myself. I make the patterns on my skin.

I truly did want to be someone but I don’t actually remember what that someone is.