Your views on mainstream music
Meh.
I am not an elitist. I love music and don’t give two hoots if it is mainstream or not. I will listen to what I like until I have it etched into my brain.
Category Archives: Random Acts
Day 3
A book you love.
I love a lot of books so this one will be extremely difficult.
I guess to make it easier I can explain what types of books I love. I am a sucker for romance. Not to say I will not read a book without it but 9/10 I am more likely to reach for a book that has some of romance in it.
I love a good book with a believable plot. That no matter how farfetched it may be it can still seem like reality if you don’t really think about it hard enough. There are some stories where something happens that is unbelievable. I am reading a book where dogs can turn into people. There is no clear explanation of why this happens, only that it does when the dog forms a deep and unbreakable bond with their families. This doesn’t happen for all dogs of course. What makes it somewhat annoying to me is just how easily people accept this. All the love interest are totally ok with their S.O turning into dogs. Like completely ok with this. So far, in the three books I have read, no one has really freaked out about it aside from a group of villains. And who wouldn’t freak out when you have a a group of various breeds of dogs coming at your throat and one just killed your accomplice. He had every right to panic.
The thing is, no one else does.
I also read another book. An amazing book that I love where the main character is an artist who suffers from a mental illness. This illness makes it so he has episodes of extreme anger and distrust. He is extremely promiscuous and wishes others to hurt him even if they do not want to. He is all shades of messed up (ha see what I did there) and needs help. He manages to not only befriend some random good person but have them fall in love with him as well. A seemingly straight guy he so happened to find and bone turned out to be this amazing dude who ends up loving him with all his soul. Now this isn’t a spoiler. You could see this coming from the get go. What I do not get, and can’t believe, is how much abuse this guy is willing to put up with for a guy he doesn’t know. No one in this side of reality does things like that. Especially with everything he put him through. Even I, who suffers from the same disability as the protagonist, would have said duces a long time ago. They are complete strangers and took insta-love to a whole new level.
Now despite these little pet peeves of mine (don’t worry I got plenty) I still love this books and their authors.
I love a book that confuses me. That makes me react. That makes me want to throw it down and scream at everyone and everything. I want to cry, I want to laugh,I want that when I finish a book and look up, I see the world in a different light.
It doesn’t have to happen all at once but a combination of the above must be going on for me to want to read it. There are series I never get tired of and there are others I can’t ever read again despite how amazing it was.
I grew up with Harry Potter being my freaking bible. Where Scary Stories to tell in the Dark truly scared the shit out of me. When R.L.Stine made me question my sanity (I was nearly always in love with the bad guy). All that has crossed into my adulthood. If I am not questioning my sanity after reading a book was it really worth It?
Today I am going back to years beyond and am reading The Tricksters Choice by Tamora Pierce. This is one series I can read over and over again without getting bored and still find something new to love about it.
Maybe I will even write a review for it. Who knows.
Day 2
Something you feel strongly about
I dislike bullies in all forms. What do I mean by all forms, well I mean I am the type of person that if I see two or more people fighting I try not to interfer unless it see some *cough* injustice going on. Just as ganging up on or bringing out those delightful racial or sexiest or homophobic slurs. Then I will jump in and say something. Though let’s say the person I am defending turns around and says something uncalled for, well I will call them out on it.
I am the type that in an argument I would apologize to the person I am arguing with if I or someone else said something extremely offensive.
To me that is what being a good person is. Standing up for what you believe in but also knowing when you are in the wrong.
I am passionate about *strikes hero pose* JUSTICE FOR ALL *dramatic music plays*
I will fight anyone over this, even those I love.
I think the problem with my age group and younger is that we extremely passionate about thinga but do not know when to quit or admit defeat. We want so much to be right that we do not try to learn for those we deem wrong. We are not willing to listen to anyone but ourselves. Even when we do take the time to learn we only truly pay attention to those views that align with our own.
So many groups and communities are changing and many not for the better. The are becoming more secluded and filled with hate because no one is willing to actually listen. We show empathy for our own kind till they express traits like are similar to those we hate and then we abandon them.
Calling them all types of phobics and haters.
It is disgusting really.
I am passionate about the truth. Passionate about knowledge and growing.
And above all else
*dramatic pose and music one more*
JUSTICE!!!
*head falls as it rains and the shadow of the broken town in live in stands tall in tbe background…music fades…scene turns to black*
30 day challenge
I have decided to attempt another 30 day challenge. I do not remember whose blog I got this from seeing as I forgot to save their name. I hope they stubble across this so that I may give them the credit due to them.
But yea….guess that is it ^-^
Day 1
Five ways to win your heart
I am not really sure. I guess on of the things that makes it easy to have my heart is food lol. I love lots of different kind of food and being able to talk and bond with someone while enjoying it is one sure way to win my love.
Aside from food maybe sharing my love of reading. I am a huge fan of books. They allow us to venture to new words and discover many things about ourselves that we may have kept hidden. They encourage us, make us feel, just let us be free when the world around us may try to shut us down. They are magical and someone loving books or being willing to talk about them is a sure fire way to my good side.
I know I only mentioned two things but really I can’t think of any others that may endear me to someone. I am pretty simple and easy to get along with I think.
I have my days just like everyone else though mine may be a bit…more… due to my BPD but I do try to make sure it doesn’t effect others to greatly.
Drop Dead Reader
There is a whisper in the wind that tells of an old friend. Someone who is missed above all else. Silent and unseen, the words tumble to and fro. Going ignored by those who are meant to see.
Dearest Reader,
I am a work in progress. I allow my world to rule me. I allow the actions of others to decide my fate. This is something I have always done, it is all I really know.
I try my hardest to change but I just keep making excuses to stay the same. For that I deeply sorry. Dearest reader I will not promise to change, because I know that at this moment I can’t, but I do promise to get better. To be better than all of this.
I want to write stories that change the world. And I can, I just need to change myself first.
So here I go. A step in a direction I do not know. Wish me luck dearest reader. I will need it.
Promptah
I find that writing prompts and challenges can sometimes help a person get into the habit of writing at a constant rate.
Sadly when things happen, such as an illness, getting back into the pattern of things can be difficult. Often times it damn near impossible.
Last month I participated in a writing challege and was going strong till I not only got sick, but I had also gone to visit friends.
It was so hard to start writing again. Sure I could have just wrote down anything yet it wouldn’t have fit my theme. My theme being questions and answers (stated for those who probably couldn’t tell).
So this time I will doing random writing prompts and stalking Pinterest boards for things to help me get in the writing mood again.
Todays prompt is quite interesting.
I am not sure how I will go about writing it but I will try my best to keep it engaging.
Lucky me
Good luck!
Simple phrase yet brings a smile to my face.
Makes me think that I have a chance.
That I can actually win!
Good luck!
Break a leg
Don’t worry, you will do great
Such faith
You have in me
Such well wishes
In my ability
It will be ok!
Go get ’em tiger
Oh what words
Such a phrase
That brings a still smile to my face
Makes me wish I have a chance
That my ability could bring me the win.
Bless me
I say words I don’t mean
I hold on to things that no longer bring me joy
I try to taste the past out of reach
Saying
Holding
Tasting
Better days.
Bless me cause I can’t breathe
Keep striving for different things
But matter will never change
Bless me and hope for better days.
I love to write but it doesn’t mean that it is always going to sound good.
Not everything I write will win a reward. Some things will be damn near cringe worthy. Still…I write.
I write because it brings me joy. I write because it is the one gift I have to pass on to my baby girl.
I write to make you think and feel.
I write because it is the only way to show I am here.
Random
I love to write but I am thinking about putting some stuff on youtube. I find that people do voice overs or read their poems online for people to listen to it.
Just a random thought….
Excuse me whilst I rant
I had a really really bad episode that lasted a few days. Maybe even a week, I am not to sure. So I decided to send some links to someone to help them understand me better. Well that was idea until I ran across this lovely article that…well…it pissed me the freak off.
This site is, Mental Health America, said a few things that set me off a bit.
See it started off extremely insulting
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
The symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder can be summarized as instability in mood, thinking, behavior, personal relations, and self-image. Individuals with the disorder may:
demand constant attention and make unreasonable demandsavoid being alone by acting out a crisis or dramatizing a problem
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no.
See I am an adult and what they are describing is the toddler nect to me who is currently upset and crying because she didn’t get to eat more then one gummy vitamin.
Not an adult who struggles with reality and sometimes does or says things to correct said reality. Who feels way to much or not at all. Who is afraid of being alone even if they person they want most is just in the next room. They are not some clingy girlfriend that demands you log your whereabouts every tens minutes. They are people who constantly worry about you every tens minutes though. Who have to fight the urge to check up on you every few hours, because if they do, they feel like they are bugging you.
They are not some child lying their way unto mommies good side ( No she isn’t getting any more vitamins, I refuse to clean that blowout if I was to give her more)
It is someone who tries their hardest to please someone because they are afraid of them leaving. They are afraid that their true self, what ever that is, will not be enough for someone. So they hide. They create a different version of themselves. They hide in the shadows for so long that it becomes reality.
Not everyone does that though, lie that is, some are capable of expressing how they feel. Those feelings tend to be high though. What feels like a papercut is not an arm being chopped off.
Despite that my all time favorite is this
histrionic personality – self-dramatizing, self-indulgent, demanding, excitable, vain
narcissistic personality – intolerant of criticism, self-important, lacking in empathy, envious, constantly demanding special favors
antisocial personality- callous, reckless, impulsive, irritable, deceitful, and emotionally shallow.
Your basic psycho right!???
So this person who wrote this is basically making BPD put to be this horrible thing and that people who have it are the lowest of the low.
Which is strange because although our emotions are an extreme high many of us are way way empathic. Which means we feel for others way to much and out them before ourselves. I won’t even eat unless my daughter has had at least two meals. Yes I starve myself till dinner so that I know my daughter really does have enough to eat.
Envious? I want a dog really bad. I got jealous at a couple next door because they can have one and I can’t. Hell yea I cry but I talked to someone else who doesn’t have BPD. Guess what she did for years cause she couldn’t have a dog. She cried about it from time to time. We love animals. Guess that makes me not only envious but vain because I compared myself to her.
This pisses me off and just goes to prove just how much things need to change. How much BPD needs to have more recognizition. But don’t take my word for it. I am deceitful, remember?
NIGHTMARE FANTASY 