I guess I have overcome a lot in my life. At times this is not really easy to see. I surrounded myself with self defeating imagery in the hopes that it will help me see reason. But it never works.
I know that others have it worse.
I know that I am in a better place.
I know it.
I see it
But that doesn’t always help.
I am so used to it and do not know how to change it. If I am being honest here, I think I need it. I have spent so many years of my life hating myself and others around me that it is pretty much the only way I can tell that I alive.
I think I made a comment about how I am not good with “positive” stories. I do not do love. Or happiness. Or joy. Not unless someone is suffering in someway. I fully admit that this makes me an edge queen and quiet possibly makes me seem a bit immature.
But…this is my therapy. This is how I heal.
I may surround myself with negativity but it is the only way I can used to things.
Send it below or Fucking use it
I remember the day I told my friend that I would use this very qoute from her book. I was maybe 16 and have since lived by it.
My past defines me because it gives me the ability to create this things. I use it. So with my pain, and lonliness, and heartache, and stress, what am I?
So yea…I do not think I would have a purpose without it. I may never ever really get better and I am ok with that.
It is a kindess to believe otherwise and I just do not have the space for that.
Still I respect it all the same.