A sight in the sky
From feathered wings tipped in gold
Fly, and catch the sun
H – Harpies
Tag Archives: IWSG
F – Freeze me
My mother wouldn’t look at me no matter how much I tried to catch her. I think a part of her knew. Of course she will pretend other wise, but what else is there to believe. The women who carried me would never be capable of this. At least, that is the story I wish I could believe. My own mother can not bare to look at me. She turns away every chance she gets. Lips tremble as she lies. Eyes glisten as she hides. She can stand to touch my hand. Or rather, what little that is left. I think it scares her. But I wish she could see that it scares me more. I am the one who will never be loved. The one who will always be alone. I can find my beauty in other things. But not if she can not do this simple task. I need my mother to see me. I need her not to grieve whats gone. She can’t bare it though. Despite that fact that it was I who was wronged.
E – Evade
He took his time with me.
I do not remember screaming, but it must have been loud enough to wake what demons had been standing by. For when I opened my eyes next they had been sitting at my side with such pitiful looks. One gently laid his hand on my chest while alone started to cry. When he took away I could see blood from a wound I could no recall ever getting.
Carved into me so deeply
There may have been a moment when I tried to move, but I can not remember. Waking up in a room full of people who could not see. Their eyes sewed shut with broken pieces of red string. I only just begin to notice one sniffing the air when I begin to hear again.
Someone nearby is weeping
Carefully I extend a hand. Grasp for what left. What’s there. I do not think she has noticed me. So committed to her screaming. There are tears I wish I could expend but I fear the meaning would be lost to her. Poor lamb who got caught. Poor lamb who may never get up
D – Defend Me
Reckless sinner unhand me
speaking words as you bleed
did you not see the lies
or where you to busy averting you eyes
hiding away from gods grace
turning love to shame in his holy name
tactless sinner who dared to grieve
speaking words till you bleed
did you mean to unhand me
or where you to busy down on your knees
begging a god who has left unseen
soaking in such terrible dreams
thoughtless sinner who left me free
drowning in words that surely bleed
you weren’t meant to do these deeds
yet you lie there in a broken heap
revenge for a god who can never be
B – Break Me
He has his hand on my thigh
A fistful of regret tightly clenched in each touch
He speaks to me, not wanting me
but desire slickers in blank spaces
Where her face was once seen erases
He doesn’t want me but I am the next best thing
Alone and awake with such sensitive taste
I do not think he has noticed that I feel the same
Slinking desire for a man I can’t see
Holding my thighs together while whispering “forgive me”
A- Advantageous
“She is just so cute” came the whispers
as my daughter laid herself out on the floor
Knees askew and arms to the side
Face scrunched up as she gave such loud cries
I could see them standing to the side
Ignoring the pleading look in my eye
I need help, someone to step in
but they see her smile and tightly spun curls
Her mocha skin with such clear pours
A lady stops by with a whisper
“Here’s a five, give her what she wished for”
As if her fit deserves such a gift
But if I turn away I will be judged
If I continue on I will be accused of not
not loving her enough to control her behavior
“Pretty girls don’t cry”
Whispers the man standing by
So I grab the money and make promises I will not keep
Walk away from the store and in my car I start to weep
Liars Retreat
Thespian plays to end the day to
Dreaming but I can’t forgive
Them all dancing gracefully
As I fall down in shame
Screaming, screeching in my brain
Full of aching pain
That’s never ending
This dream full of dancing fools
Beating to the sounds of hearts
Falling , failing one beat at a time
Is evident here as I crawl in line
To sample the delight
Full of white lines and broken glass
Raised on high as crowds stand
With applause in hand to cover the sound
Of a thousand dying hearts
And fading parts
K – Kindess
I guess I have overcome a lot in my life. At times this is not really easy to see. I surrounded myself with self defeating imagery in the hopes that it will help me see reason. But it never works.
I know that others have it worse.
I know that I am in a better place.
I know it.
I see it
But that doesn’t always help.
I am so used to it and do not know how to change it. If I am being honest here, I think I need it. I have spent so many years of my life hating myself and others around me that it is pretty much the only way I can tell that I alive.
I think I made a comment about how I am not good with “positive” stories. I do not do love. Or happiness. Or joy. Not unless someone is suffering in someway. I fully admit that this makes me an edge queen and quiet possibly makes me seem a bit immature.
But…this is my therapy. This is how I heal.
I may surround myself with negativity but it is the only way I can used to things.
Send it below or Fucking use it
I remember the day I told my friend that I would use this very qoute from her book. I was maybe 16 and have since lived by it.
My past defines me because it gives me the ability to create this things. I use it. So with my pain, and lonliness, and heartache, and stress, what am I?
So yea…I do not think I would have a purpose without it. I may never ever really get better and I am ok with that.
It is a kindess to believe otherwise and I just do not have the space for that.
Still I respect it all the same.
H _ Holdings
I told you that I was a curse
At worst a mistake
Upon a broken page
Pierced heavily with a holy blade
I am a demon made of sin
Because only the devoted would let me in
I am something to be forgotten
But those words spoken so prettily
Could never be the real me
I wish I was a demon
I wish I was cursed
I wish there was a reason
To leave this earth
Because I need purpose
I don’t want to feel worthless
Because I am not her
I will never be
I am not the key to your heart
You see
But there is nothing else for me
I am not a demon
I am not cursed
And no matter how much it hurts
I am worthless
A purposeless fraud
Just a sad little girl who is lost.
A/N I have not been doing well lately. Kind of depressed…ok fine, loads of depressed. All of the depressed please and thank you. I can tell you how it started buut I rather not. Since I still want to keep doing the challenges I will devote this week to the emotional drama that is my mind. Chemical imbalances for the win.
For those who do not like this kind of stuff all is well. I am only allowing myself a week to do these types of poems. After that I will save my innermost emo ness for outside of the challenge post. Because truly would I really be me if I didn’t debby downer the world.
F – Forgive Me
It surprised me that I liked it
The way you laid before me
Arms reaching out for some reprieve
I could see it in your eyes
Tears of glory full of grace
But I hold the rod you see
I am the one who makes you bleed
It surprised me that I liked it
So far from my conformt zone
Maybe it’s the look on your face
A sort of pain that can’t be faked
I can see you reach for a reprieve
As though that will save your life
You forget me dear for I hold the rod
I will be the one who fixes these wrongs
A/N I am not doing well… Hmmm mistakes were made. I will go over this another day.
Also pretty sure I misused the word Reprieve
NIGHTMARE FANTASY 