I am full of lies and contradictions.

I wonder if this will start to affect my body as I age.

Will I make it past 25?

Will I start to lose the ability to see?

I can already see my vision getting blurry.

I know that my hearts makes frequent stops.

But I am addicted to this beautiful pain.

I love how it hurts, the feeling of going insane.

I know I can the queen of edge. I don’t really think I fully left high school. I still read the same type of books and watch the same type of tv shows. I hear all my friends talk about going to parties and doing drugs but I am ok with never doing any of that. I still do not care if I am not popular. I still love being alone though I do like the occasional visit. I don’t think I changed at all really.

I have yet to decide if this is good or bad.