Session 1

Imaginary and Revision

When writing poetry it is easy to put pen to paper and let yourself feel. But it doesn’t do your art justice to let that be the product that you share. Take your time and revise. Read what you write out loud. Record yourself if that helps you. Soak in your own words before sharing them. For that is one way you prove your craft true.

I hate revising

Ok lie, I am to lazy to revise my own work. I think it is because I am so focused on writing and getting it out there. I love to share my pieces with others. Spending hours or possibly days going over one poem seems like a waste to me. But after taking this class I see it differently.

Poems that I had previously seen as amazing started to look amateurish. I focused more on the story that I wanted to tell that I lost the ability to actually tell it. You can see that by looking at my work that it is riddled with errors that could have been fixed had I just bothered to read through them.

The funny thing is, I took a class like this before. I never had to revise because my professor never looked for those things. We still critiqued each others work but we weren’t expected to change anything. With this class we are and I am both happy and lost.

Happy because -yay change-

Lost because…I don’t know what I am doing.

I have had this blog for while know and figured that I have grown as a writer when in fact, I have become stagnated by my own inability to accept doing better by my art. The one thing I am passionate about and I showed such disrespect for it because I couldn’t be bothered to edit.

Now I wonder if I can even consider myself a poet. I am clearly not all that talented. This class has showed me that.

I am not going to let that get me down. I am going to do better, even though I am not sure if I can. But this is only session one. We have plenty more to go to see if I can make a difference.

Session 1: I hate revising.

End session notes: But that doesn’t make it less important if a step in the writing process.

Perfected

School is almost over for me. Got one more semester to go before I get my AS and go off to a four year college for a BA. I still have dreams to get a degree in Philosophy but I just can’t seem to make up my mind about what else I want to go for. I am trying to decide between Psychology and Sociology. I know I want to help people in any way that I can but with my issues I am not sure how to go about doing that. Either way, here is to another semester!

As for other updates. My little one is on her way to Kindergarten. I should be excited…but I am not. I am scared because I do not know what to expect in the world. A part of me wants to just wrap her up into a bubble. But I can’t do that to her. I do not know how other parents do it. How they can be so trusting and hopeful. I hate how terrible I feel because I want a normal life for her. She deserves so much good in this world and I am just not it.

Parenting a child as a person with mental illness is hard. I like to think that it is worth it. That she will grow up to be a well adjusted adult. But the risk…I do not know if I am worth it.