Healing vibes.

Share a story that has hurt you.

Something that ripped you to tiny piece and made it as though you didn’t not think you would survive.

Share that story, leave out no details, because I have a feeling this will help you heal.

Realize how much you have conqured.

The painful memories you can’t bear to hold.

Just let them go.

Share me a story if your deepest fear. Tell it all and leave out no details.

We need to see we are not alone.

Race wars

Parenting is one of the most difficult things in the world. You have this tiny person who depends on you. A person you must watch grow into this not so tiny adult. All the while you must feed them, clothe them, make sure they stay clean, house them, educate them, etc. At times they do not allow this to happen. They will fight you, and often times, they will win.
One popular belief is that your parenting style is already set in stone. It is your race that decides what kind of parent you are.

Latino/Mexican/Hispanic parents are absent. They tend to yell a lot and be a bit helicopterish but they are loving as well. They may lean towards abusive but in a way that their children joke about later in life. They are all about family. Not as accpeting of uniqueness. 

Caucasian America parents are smothering. They strive to be their childs friend first and a parent dead last. They are the fun ones. You can get away with murder. Literal murder and they would still root for your success. They are not smart and should not be trusted. This is due to the fact that they seem perfect but are quick to disown children. They do not value family but inside value appearance. 
Asian parents are prone to abuse. Like white families they have a tendency to disown their children for various means. They care more about work and grades then anything else. There is no time for fun with them.
Black parents are the poster child of abuse and neglectful parenting.  They do not care about their children at all. Actually they are pretty quick to beat them for looking the wrong way. Like the rest above they can have their good moment but it is so rare. They also value appearance but it goes hand and hand with strength. As long as you are not caught by those in charge, you can do anything. From selling drugs, being a bully, to outright mudering and torturing people. A black parent will protect their child at all cost all the while punishing them for being born. 

See these?

These are fucking sterotypes. But they are so ingrained into american society that we are ok with that. Black parents are already seen as a danger to their children well before they are even born. White families are seen to be a mistake. Perfect but still a mistake in the making. Asian parents are seen as though they are preparing for an academic war. Hispanic/Latino/Mexican parents are probably the only ones seen in a decent light but even they are assumed to be absent all the the time and abusive. 

These are stereotypes we allow to exsit. No one is trying to change then at all. 
I am a black mom to a biracial little girl. 

I admit I freaking suck at being a parent. She just went to bed today without dinner.

Why? 

Cause I took her to church and struggled to keep her entertained as she screamed her little head off every time someone dared look her way. Of course this was the last 30 mins or so. Still she pooped herself out, refused to eat dinner, and instead went to bed. 

I am not doing this with a guide. To me not eating before going to bed is horrible. 

But it is a mistake many parents make. 

I can tell you about one time my daughter went to take a poop. I guess she got lost cause she ended up going into her room and taking a giant shit in a bucket. She hid that bucket then went to wipe her butt. Since there was piss in her potty (yes she made it to the potty to pee) I assumed she farted in her room. I didn’t find the poop bucket to close to an hour after. I had sprayed something in her room to kill the smell. It worked for that hour but came back. So I went to investigate and saw the bucket. 

Now here is the part where most people would assume I went sterotype black on her mocha ass but I didn’t. Instead I sat her down and talked to her. I made her clean the bucket and she wasn’t allowed to play with toys for a few hours. 

I am a black parent but I am not a sterotype. I am not a statistic and my race should not condemn me as one. 

I know many parents would have spanked or even beat the shit out of their kids for that. Not me!

What is found above is how I have seen people describe each race and their parebting styles. Of course these are told to me by people who are bot of that race. If they are that race then they are joking about how they survived this or that. 

I mean yay you parent beat you euth an extention cord and you lived to see another day. Sucks to so though that others did not. 

Abuse is not funny at all.

Saying one race is a better parent is not right.
Your race doesn’t automatically win you parenting points. 

Your past, your surrounding,  your support system is what decides your parenting style. 

If you grew up in an abusive home it does not mean you will automatically be a horrible parent.  Nor does it mean you will automatically be a good parent. There are so many factors that are in play in deciding  your parenting style. So why the fucking superman do people think that race is one of them. 

I have met some wonderful parents and I have met some shitty parents. I can assure you that race wasn’t the decuding factor.

So…why is this ok? 

Why is it ok to sterotype someone as being a shit parent?  

Why is this normal and accepted by everyone?

I do not rightly know but it needs to stop. 

The skin I’m in Part 3

Beauty has always been skin deep

Ignorant to the flesh around me

Simmer so astoundingly

A breathless lie indeed

This is all you see as I try to hide

A fact upon a wooden spoon slapped across a cheek

Don’t worry, your lies was beaten into me

Beautiful is not what you think it is

Earth splayed across my skin

Try to scrub it free

Panic cause I know inside

Beautiful was never skin deep

Forget the lies you tell me

Simmer all in one

Pat the snow unto my flesh and pretend it is my own

Walk with my head to the dust

Copper tones turned to rust

Flakes off doubt begin to seep

Do not bother lying to me

I know where I stand today

Always hated yet in demand

A prize to be won and then forgotten

I know what I am to you

I know that I am bound to lose

Simmered in long-held doubt

I know what my life is truly about

Whether black as tar

Or white as light

I will not matter by the end of the night

My skin is judged

Hated by the abused

And the guilt-ridden oppressors

No matter the color of their skin

In their eyes

I will never fucking win

Open a list of half-baked rules

Slice me to and fro

In the end, it means nothing

Cause my skin is all this world knows.

Whether from friend or foe

I will be judged by this cookie cutter mold

Beauty is skin deep all but me

Because nothing I do will ever please

Fuck this shit don’t lie to me

Say it is all in my head when over

And over

And over

And over again

You cut with me your half-baked lies

Cookie cutter mold never will fit just right

To which method would you to slice?

Mud colored skin never looked so dirty

Against those who said they will always love me

Whether black or white

In the end

No matter what I do.

I will never win.

A/N

I am an American who just so happens to have ancestors from Africa. I deal with Racism a lot but not in forms others are willing to talk about.

Because if the way I talk, my interests, the way I dress…everything. I am judged by the world. Black people want nothing to do with me same as other races. They say that we are all brothers and sisters and yet I am excluded because of who I am inside.

My skin plays a big part in how people look at me. They think that I need to act or look a certain way or I can’t belong.

Even people who are open-minded have this lovely mold in place for me. See freedom is a lie. Freedom is basically every living in someone’s version of Harmony. ¬†What it is good for the people as a whole is not always a good thing.

People expect others to step up and live their dream with them but that is not fair. We all have our own ideas of perfect. Freedom isn’t fair…it truly isn’t. ¬†Someone is always going to be left in the dust

Skin I’m in 2

Dirty little white girl

All you believe of me

Dirty little white girl

Swinging from the trees

Nothing but a liar

Nothing but a fake

Nothing but a moldy little bitch that you can’t wait to break

Call me all these names

Label me as you feel

I’m just a dirty little white girl

Cause my brown doesn’t matter here

Send me to the front

Fight your battles when I’m worthy

But once it’s done

Send me home and tell them that I was worthless

Waste your time and mine

Make me feel like I am not right

Confused 

Deranged 

Disgusting

Just a dirty little white girl worth nothing

My suffering is all my fault

I laid with master you see

But master doesn’t love me

Just left me to bleed

Stupid trash no one attempted to grieve

Dirty little white girl floating to and fro

Where do you belong little girl?

Cause I don’t rightly know

 Your brown doesn’t matter here

You are not like the others

One of a kind

Pretend to be one of those brown fellows

But that’s not who you are inside

How did you get so lucky

Speech so pretty 

Face so greedy

Sit here little white girl

And let me show the world how I love to help those who are needy
Just a dirty little white girl

That’s all you see

A dirty little white girl

Swinging from the trees

My brown doesn’t matter here

Cause it’s not what you believe

So I must he a dirty little white girl

That no one bothered to grieve.