A Beautiful Pain

I am full of lies and contradictions.

I wonder if this will start to affect my body as I age.

Will I make it past 25?

Will I start to lose the ability to see?

I can already see my vision getting blurry.

I know that my hearts makes frequent stops.

But I am addicted to this beautiful pain.

I love how it hurts, the feeling of going insane.

Continue reading

Once I kissed

I don’t like kissing

It’s to intimate

To close

To

Gross

Everything about

Leaves me in hives

Eyes closed

Mouth opened wide

Nope

Sorry

I would rather die

But

Apart of me

A small part of me

Wishes it wasn’t that way

Kisses

Are not a curse

Used to hurt

To force

Love and commit

Meant to secure

To reward

Blushing brides and valued whores

Kissing isn’t meant

To be painful

A reminder of bad times

A punishment for false crimes

I don’t like kissing

To intimate

To close

To

Gross

To much of

A false show of commit

Meant to reward

At least

That is what they tell good little girls

Drinking Daiseys

I wonder if she can see the shadows

If they keep her up at night

I often think it is from my own doing

That I am the reason she feels such anger

It must be my fault

That she can’t seem to shut her eyes

Without whimpering out loud

Sometimes I think she can hear the whispers

Voices telling her it is ok to die

Creepy little people who just love to lie

It must be my fault

I can’t protect her from the pain

I wonder if she tastes ashes

Whenever she greets the sun

Does it drive her insane to stand outside

Feeling all of those eyes

Hearing those screams

Tasting things that will probably never be

I wonder if it is my fault

That she is drowning on her own

Pick up the phone

Pick up the phone

By Zoha Lixue

I keep waiting for the call

That will tell me when it is over

Let me know that all is done

The tears

The lies

Is all come to an end

I am waiting for the call

To tell me it is time to live again

To smile

To breathe

Waiting for the call that says

“He is dead”

So my childhood can stop haunting me

Waiting for the day when I am not afraid

When I don’t go to bed

Thinking he is on his way

His plans to hurt my daughter

Give her nightmares similar to mine

I am waiting all the call

That ends it all

The one that will tell me that it is ok

How to pass

Midterm season is upon us! As my peers and I wallow in self doubt and loathing for our teachers, let us gather around and try to think of the good in life.

Did I mention I failed my first midterm test?

Yep, I, lover of all things psycho, failed my psychology midterm.

Yet I managed to pass my philosophy test. You know, the class that walks hand in hand with each other as all fated minds to.

Question!

How the FREAK did I manage to fail one yet pass the other when they had virtually the same questions.

I am just baffled by the fact that I royally screwed up on one but managed to conjure up an A with the other. A solid 97% people….97%

Someone explain this!

Ok ok but this post talks about how to pass. Not how to fail so epically that one questions the very reason they breathe.

I would like to point out that I am still passing psychology but only with a B. It was lower after the test but I forgot how low it got and just brought it up to a B. I think it was a low C for a few days.

So how did I manage to pass you didn’t ask??

Well the honest answer is…I have no clue. The B.S answer, and this is the one I am sticking to if family and friends ask, is that I studied my ass off everyday. I asked questioned when need and didn’t use the sources found on Wikipedia pages *chokes on obvious lies* .

Now that spring break is upon us, or ending for some of you, let us go back to our roots of total disinterest in our futures because our caretakers pretty much did everything for. Go out in the world and adult the hardest you have ever adulted before but never lose focus on the fact we all suck before we die. So try your hardest to do all the things.

A/N this is a Petty Poet Verse Advise. Please ignore the rantings of this obvious lunatic and remember that you are valued and loved. Your grades do not define who you truly are as a person. Be proud of who you are and all that you accomplish. Sure you may not always get the grade you want but you still matter. You are still important and no matter what you will make it through this.

From the words of a petty person to the next. You are worth it.