Con troll me (Control)

I am struggling.

For reasons I can not control I find myself thinking of you.

And no matter how much I fight it I find that I do not have the ability to stop.


Who used to feed me tasteless lies upon a platter


Who used to bruise my body and scream “What’s the matter”???

As if my bleeding lips And busted up tongue

Could convey sweet words when I had none.

I should have seen it from the swastika on your chest.


Who hold yourself above the rest as if You

Yes you

Are a God among men

But I am lacking in faith and reasons

Once I begin to feel again I begin

To miss


Who tore my dress because you said it was ugly


Who blamed me for every cigarette burn and broken knobs on doors


Who always swore it was my fault as you ripped my body apart.

You ripped my ravaged body apart…

And for reasons I can not control I find myself


Missing you



Who on our wedding day who made my legs a pretty shade of purple and blue.


Who called my job and told them I lied about the money that went missing that one night


Fucking despite

The fact that I was not even there

But you

Do you care?

As I struggle to find air around listless tress

Doctors and officers telling me that all will be ok

But it isn’t

It never will

Because you broke me

And made me feel a love so twisted and vicious that I become so fucking addicted

God am I so addicted

But it doesn’t matter anymore

Because I am now crawling in the floor begging for someone


Knowing full well that it is you that I want



But this lack of control gives me something to believe in

Because as I sit thinking of you

Yes you

Who nearly succeded in making me your wonton whore

I scream a little

While wishing for more.

Soo this is a rough draft. I do not like it at all but I forgot today was C so yea. Will post it anyways.

Tell me

Lie to me. Give your best shot to make me feel some sort of pain. Hold it against me as your try over and over again. Take it…

Make it…

Break it.

Make me feel something, I want to live.

So lie to me.


Tell me something that I haven’t heard in a long time.


Tell me I am pretty, that I am smart, that I am worth it. Lie to me like you used to. Make me feel warmth like you did in the past. Make me feel treasured. Make it last.


Do these things before it is to late. Don’t walk away without making me feel. Please don’t go…

Don’t tell me the truth.

Kill me slowly.

Break my heart, destroy it beyond repair.

Cause without you, I will always be halfway there.

Don’t leave me with memories I will always regret.


Kill me slowly, please.

Don’t tell me the truth as you leave.