F – Freeze me

My mother wouldn’t look at me no matter how much I tried to catch her. I think a part of her knew. Of course she will pretend other wise, but what else is there to believe. The women who carried me would never be capable of this. At least, that is the story I wish I could believe. My own mother can not bare to look at me. She turns away every chance she gets. Lips tremble as she lies. Eyes glisten as she hides. She can stand to touch my hand. Or rather, what little that is left. I think it scares her. But I wish she could see that it scares me more. I am the one who will never be loved. The one who will always be alone. I can find my beauty in other things. But not if she can not do this simple task. I need my mother to see me. I need her not to grieve whats gone. She can’t bare it though. Despite that fact that it was I who was wronged.

D – Defend Me

Reckless sinner unhand me

speaking words as you bleed

did you not see the lies

or where you to busy averting you eyes

hiding away from gods grace

turning love to shame in his holy name

tactless sinner who dared to grieve

speaking words till you bleed

did you mean to unhand me

or where you to busy down on your knees

begging a god who has left unseen

soaking in such terrible dreams

thoughtless sinner who left me free

drowning in words that surely bleed

you weren’t meant to do these deeds

yet you lie there in a broken heap

revenge for a god who can never be

C – Control Me

That’s OK Kiss me kindly

bind me to the page

bring about the rage

that OK just kill me

neatly with no grace

I was made to expend

I was made to defend

Kiss me when the beat drops

Take apart, my heart stops

I was made in demand

I was made with you in hand

destroy my body cause you able

Suspended above the table

My blood is what you crave

So make it last for days

Kill me blindly with no grace

I was made for this disgrace

B – Break Me

He has his hand on my thigh

A fistful of regret tightly clenched in each touch

He speaks to me, not wanting me

but desire slickers in blank spaces

Where her face was once seen erases

He doesn’t want me but I am the next best thing

Alone and awake with such sensitive taste

I do not think he has noticed that I feel the same

Slinking desire for a man I can’t see

Holding my thighs together while whispering “forgive me”

A- Advantageous

“She is just so cute” came the whispers

as my daughter laid herself out on the floor

Knees askew and arms to the side

Face scrunched up as she gave such loud cries

I could see them standing to the side

Ignoring the pleading look in my eye

I need help, someone to step in

but they see her smile and tightly spun curls

Her mocha skin with such clear pours

A lady stops by with a whisper

“Here’s a five, give her what she wished for”

As if her fit deserves such a gift

But if I turn away I will be judged

If I continue on I will be accused of not

not loving her enough to control her behavior

“Pretty girls don’t cry”

Whispers the man standing by

So I grab the money and make promises I will not keep

Walk away from the store and in my car I start to weep