A new feature

I do not have a best friend anymore.

That feels so strange to say.

I do NOT have a best friend anymore.

The one who held that place finally decided that they were done. Over. Enough. I wasn’t worth knowing anymore. Not by action that can be named but by those that still caused so much pain. This friend. This entity decided that I was their newest enemy.

I should have seen it coming. Actually, no, I did. Made a whole post about BPD and friends. But see it was not my personality at fault, in fact, one would say that I was downright innocent but that can be debated. See this was clearly fated when I spoke to my therapist about signs of abuse and if some could be found in the stories I shared of us since our youth.

“Well, she yelled at me, but it was totally my fault!”

“Haha yeah she made some off-handed remark about how I wasn’t enough, but where was the lie in that?”

“Ok no, she can be controlling but it’s endearing. How love is shown by manipulation. I mean, ok not always but she is happy so there was no need for my hesitation.”

My therapy sessions sounded like recorded excuses. One’s where I recalled all the times when she implied I was useless. But I stuck around cause I had no one else. Because I needed a best friend, above all else.

I no longer have a best friend.

She is gone.

Decided that I was someone who she no longer wanted to pull along.

It’s strange to say, after so many years.

Maybe one day I will get used to it and properly heal.

Song tied

She is certain

With a silver tongue

And fleshed out wings, she brings

Heaven towards the sky

Where Angel fail to dwell

Burned out in their own hell, she spied

Twisted lies and sad goodbyes

She is certain

With fluid eyes

A earth filled with dread

Where beings that feast on dreams

Question a fickle lullaby, she sings

Such pretty things

Like sweet mercy bitten by metal wings

A/N

I wrote this with my best friend in mind. One who just so happens to share my first name. So this is for you Jessica and all others in the world who share this rather interesting name (i.e this name is basic haha)

Also changing the title cause it was meant to be a place holder till I found one I liked. Only I forgot to change it before it had posted. So here ya go