Preacher

The preacher heard me prayers
Asking for my sins to fly away
Forgive me Lord and everyone
Know that I have faults
For I am a sinners son
Preacher heard me lie that day
He knew sin wasn’t done
He sat there with a smirk
Knowing I wasn’t the only one
I yelled and praised as all before me
Sundays best clothed me
The preacher heard my praise in vain
Cause he knew I would sin again
Once the day was over
I went outside with all the rest
Went home that day
And stabbed my father in the chest
Preacher could see it in my eyes
So it came to no surprise
He felt the world had wronged me so
So held my hand throughout the day
Whispered evil deeds in my ear
Came to no surprise you see
To the church, those who were forced to grieve
The preacher wasn’t a

nice

man

Such a shame he passed that day

Pass

Passionate surprise
There is danger in her eyes
Come clean upon the slate
Dying is her fate
She slips into a dream
And starts to demands once remembering

She isn’t suppose to feel
But the dreams make it real
Danger in her eyes
Addicted to her lies
Dying is her only choice
Yet if you listen to her timid voice
You will find
Something sane and yet not so nice.

I like and hate this
But these are my mistakes to bear
Silly how I once believed
That you would always be there
I write to make dreams come true
I write to get over you
I write to protect
To grow
To show
I write because it is the only thing I know.

Writers block

I think every writer has someone they admire. Someone they hope to be like and maybe one day surpas.
We all have them.
But what about those who we envy. Who makes us look at our work and say “is it enough? ”
Who make us want to sit down with those same words flowing through their mind about past works.

Those who no longer inspire us, but instead makes us feel weak. Inferior to what we view as, a great power they hold.
What then?
Do you have such a person?
I know I do.
See much of my life has been spent in the shadows. I can always find someone who can do something better than I ever could. People who can draw, people who can paint, people who can write, people who can build, people who can….
Someone is always better than me. If I can’t be perfect on my own terms than I rather not do them at all.
I rather not show the world what I deem is a failure. Because each time someone praises my work, I know that it is a lie.
No my poems are not that great. I freaking suck.
No I am not good with words; I probably need to go back to middle school.
No I am not good at all.

So I stop. I strop writing my poems, even if they relax me.
I stop trying to draw, despite how fun it is.
I stop trying to take pictures, even though it makes me happy
I stop being me because I feel that there is someone better. I escape into this state of mind that no matter what, I will never be good enough.

And I feel alone. I feel very much alone.

But you know what!
In the words of someone I care for deeply, FUCK THEM!
Yes they may do things I wish I could, but giving up won’t change a damn thing.
It won’t make me happy. It won’t make me smile, and it definitely won’t calm me down.
I will be a mess if I gave up the things I loved to please others.
I am doing nothing wrong.

There will always be that one person who does a better job than I.  A person I may envy with every fiber of my being.
So you know what? I will write…not for others, but for myself. I will still share my work. I will not allow others to make or break me. I may not be the best but I am an amazing writer. I have the ability to express myself with words.
I may not be the best artist, but I can put a smile on my daughters face.  I can make her happy with just some simple strokes from a brush. I can help her bring her imagination to life.
I may not be the best photographer,  but you bet your top dollar I will try!

Being the best isn’t everything. Sometimes having having fun brings the most joy,  even if you don’t wins.

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Queen

****** I do not like this post..I want to edit it and I don’t know how. It sounds silly to me. Wrong is some ways but I can’t tell where. SEND HELP! ****image

I hate them. I hate looking at them, thinking of them, being spoken to about them. Don’t tell me how they are. Don’t tell them how I am. They don’t matter to me so why do you bring them up like I care…why do that to me. Why pretend that things are alright when they are not. That hurts you know!

Maybe I am being selfish… don’t really care either way. Just stop bring them up OK ….

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She held out her hand for all to see.
A simple apple from a simple tree
Dusted with the morning dew
Glistening to calm and sweet.
This lovely
Simple
Special
Treat.
This apple taken by a maid.
She smiled brightly for this made her day.
The maid then bowed,  she was as happy as can be.
The Queen had blessed her with such a simple
Treat
From a simple
Tree
Took a bite for all to see.
Sweet little maid, then she
Turned red as the apple spilled from her lips
Such kissable bow lips
The maid turned with a sudden and curse.

Such disgusting words she cursed.
“THE QUEEN HAS POISONED ME”
Such disgusting words.
The crowd took up arms
The Queen was promptly taken away.
Such dirty things were said.
Gossip began to spread.
Words utter that have never been said.
Off with her head!
To death she be.
Said the maid to the queen.
And people listened!
The cheered!
No one thinking of the simple apple
From the simple tree
A simple treat that was meant to be
Blown away by misplaced anger
The Queen was laid to death.
Because of the words a heathen dared say.
Such disgusting words she uttered.

Such words said from the maid about her mother.

Death to the Queen. The savior of us all.
Because of the words
Spoken by a simple mind
Simple tree
Simple treat
Simply the best place
to sleep for eternity

Oppress me

I am an anti-sjw…
What does that mean? It means I am anti pretty much everything popular now.
I know that there are those out to get me but I don’t think it is the world. I am black and don’t think that everyone I meet who is not, hates me.
I do not think that because I am female that I am owed the world on a silver platter. I do know that there are those who feel that my status as a woman is beneath them. I do not think that because I am of a certain sexuality that everyone should be a certain sexuality. I do not believe that people who are straight are the enemy.  I do not think that the LGBT community is as well put together as they hope to be.

I am OK with people hating me because of my skin, because I am a women, because I am of a certain sex. Hate me all you want ok..but still respect me.
Even if my skin disgust you don’t ruin my day because of it. Still make my hamburger or hand me my purchase.  Go ahead and take the stair cause I am on the elevator.  Go ahead and turn up your noise at me. But respect me enough to keep your comments to yourself. If my skin bothers you enough to wear you can not help me then let me know. You can still be kind while being a complete asshat.

If me being a women bothers you, then take it up with my mom and dad’s DNA. Mainly my dad cause it controls most of what my gender will be. If you think I need to “stay in the kitchen” then by all means think it. Just know that I , nor many others, will not date you. There are plenty of women out there who don’t mind cooking and cleaning for their husbands as they work. Don’t be rude about it. Respect any lady who is willing to do that for you. Be a man who is well taken care of it. It is ok. Just try to pay me fairly ok.

My sexuality is not the issue. Who I choose or don’t choose to make woohoo with is my own business.  If it comes up and you hate it. That’s ok. You have a right to disagree with me. Just respect me enough to not change me. Love me for who I am. Not who I sleep with. Or don’t sleep with for that matter.

I am anti-sjw because many people who consider themselves social justice warriors are not OK when people disagree with them. They call them morally wrong, phobic of something, a slave, a Tom, disgusting, ignorant and uneducated.

People are strange ok. We don’t always have to agree and I don’t expect everyone to fall to their feet and love me. Some person out there is bound to hate me. Honestly…and I am being completely honest…I don’t give a fuck if you hate me for being a women, for having a biracial daughters for being black, and not liking intercourse (I don’t like it, but I am open to dating any gender)
Hate me, don’t date me, tell me I am a fool. It may sting for a bit but don’t worry I will be ok. I will still love my mixed baby girl. I will still like being a women (I say like because periods are not fair) and since I don’t understand they hype for sexy stuff, I am ok. Don’t know what I am missing so yea.

Otherwise. Try to oppress me. Try to hold me back due to these things.
I have been called names by black people, many in the LGBT community and other females for my views.
So if you hate me..you are not alone. I can hand you a list of feminist ready to kick my ass as we speak .

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