I can’t remember me

 

Just another part of the machine allowing to to function

going on about life as though it was nothing

I was different and now I am not

I am one of the group

part of the flock

a follower of the mans word

Someone with a lot of fault

I never meant for this to happen

I just wanted the pain to stop

I do not know how I got this way

It truly wasn’t suppose to be

but I needed a reason to continue on breathing

So here I am, phone in hand

pretending to give a damn about those around me

 

When the sky talks back

I have lost a lot of blood

taken away by those I love

they show they care by beating me bare

putting salt into the wounds

wishful words of contempt

smiles tell me what they truly meant

Say they love me

Say they care

Say that no matter what they will be here

Lies and Slander from thine Queen

Bringing me pleasure from the wipes sting

I crave the sky when it sings

as it blames me for being me

Angels fly on high

With pitch fork wings

just hoping that I die

I love the sound of the singing sky

It reminds me of why I am alive

Why I go on when inside I have died

Because when all is said and done

I know that I am loved by my only son

My little one in the sky

despite the pain

despite the hate

despite that smiles I am supposed to fake

There is someone who cares

Down here it may hurt to feel

I may be judged and hated without fear

I may have the world trying to break me

but way up high

passed the fake angels in the sky

there lies a soul full of love

there lays someone who will never let go

Down here people blame me

they hate me for things I did not know

they pelt me with bloody rocks

then are ask me to forgive

show me words filled with venom

then say they are my friend

I so love when the sky sings

It reminds me of better thing.

That despite all this there is someone who loves

Someone who forgives

Up past the false angels with their pitch black wings

There is someone who loves me and all of my sins.

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The loss of a child is a powerful, traumatic event that many people have sadly gone through. As a single mother to one I feel for them greatly. No matter in what way this child is loss the pain can linger with the families till they take their very last breath.

For all those lost Fly High Little Ones. Your families love you very much. Thank you for watching over them as they go about life.

Drop Dead Reader

There is a whisper in the wind that tells of an old friend. Someone who is missed above all else. Silent and unseen, the words tumble to and fro. Going ignored by those who are meant to see.

Dearest Reader,

I am a work in progress. I allow my world to rule me. I allow the actions of others to decide my fate. This is something I have always done, it is all I really know.

I try my hardest to change but I just keep making excuses to stay the same. For that I deeply sorry. Dearest reader I will not promise to change, because I know that at this moment I can’t, but I do promise to get better. To be better than all of this.

I want to write stories that change the world. And I can, I just need to change myself first.

So here I go. A step in a direction I do not know. Wish me luck dearest reader. I will need it.