Do you think they would tell her why I did it? Or would they keep it a secret and let her guess.
Would they tell her that I gave up on life?
Or would they explain to her how much I tried to survive.
Tell her how much I love her and how I cared. How many days I spent crying cause I wanted to be there. Those days I hated myself she is the only one who could make me believe.
In the end will they tell her the truth or would they just pretend?
I often wonder what would happen if I was to give in. I can’t do it cause I love her so, but damn, I want my life to end.
What would they tell my little girl if I was to succeed. A bunch of bullshit lies or the truth they didn’t want to see.
I fucking hate myself and want to die but I can’t.
I have a little girl who needs me, at least that is what they tell me.
I think she will be ok. Rather be dead with her grieving then go about life hating the world because of my depression. Hating the world cause of my urges.
I rather her know that I love her and I tried then go through life hating it cause I made it hell.
If I did it what would they tell her.
My precious baby girl, what would they say.
In my head my death is a welcomed gift. Finally things will be ok.
But would they tell her this. Or would they make her think she was a mistake.
I love her so very much. Why Can’t I be allowed to give up?
I know they will tell her lies so that is why I stay. I stay so she will know that I love her everyday. I know her life will be hell and I know she may regret me. Still, I will be the bigger person and live despite being so empty