‘Show me how to be whole again’

     –   Linkin Park- Castle of Glass

I don’t think I can do this anymore. I can still feel the world falling around me. The screaming of my friends as they are gunned down by the enemy. The enemy I am still unable to see.

I will be leaving behind a memory if I die but that thought isn’t very comforting. People I love will never forget me, but that doesn’t make death any easier to bear.

Is giving up really a bad thing? Is cowering away beneath some rocks truly evil? Others will say but I am afraid to die. I am afriad to give my life to this meaningless cause. I can taste their fear.

My friends bodies surround me as the enemy draws near. The enemy I can’t help but understand.

Does it make a monster to regret it all?

I have loved ones who need me so how can I leave. Does it make me a coward to destest the idea of going? 

I give up though…take me away. I guess I will find all the answers at heavens gate.