How did this happen?

Sitting in the bathroom waiting for the day to pass.

Pretending that I am doing something, fake sounds of passing gas

Hope they don’t hear me but don’t want them to see

Hiding in the bathroom cause I can’t seem to breathe

In my place of solitude I listen in

Hear their laugher, imagine their smiles

Such a good time they are having without me

So how did this happen?

How did it come to this?

How did it get to the point where I am hiding in the bathroom

Pretending to take a major shit

Listen to them joking

At the party I can’t join

So I am hiding in the bathroom

Till I can’t hear the screaming anymore.

Perception and Deception review 

Ever tried to solve a problem with minimum  information? I mean so little information that you may as well not even bothered in the first place. Such as when you mom tell you to go find their purse. The only information she gives though is that it is her purse and that it may or may not be pink.

That is basically the plot to this story.  A women by the name of Felix Jayne must find an protect a guy who was given a set of blueprints by his belated parents. That’s it. She has no other information to go but that they died of natural causes (old age) and what town they lived in.

Sure it being a small town should make it easy to find one lone middle age man but they forgot one thing. It is a small town and the people who live in small towns are middle-aged or elderly. Sure there are kids floating about but not a lot. I can remember maybe like two or three actual children being mentioned in this story…two or three.

But by golly she does it. Felix, along with her partner Wolf (there is a joke in there but I won’t stoop that low) are in the search for him so they can save his life from people trying to harm him.

Now I actually like some parts of these story. The story is fairly unique in that someone is doing actual freaking reasearch and isn’t just guessing as they go along. Considering it is a small town, this story can get away with ex machina moments. ‘OH the person I am looking for is conveniently outside, well time to chase them down’~
It was a bit silly but had some pretty cool moments.

Felix was a tab bit boring. Her speech pattern was annoying and I found myself cringing every time she took the spot light for a chapter. Even having people talk about her made me want to poke my eye balls out with a well oiled spike.

Now I do not blame the author for this. This is a women who was raised by two FBI agents. Fighting crime is practically all she knows.  I highly doubt she was allowed to have a normal childhood. So she is boring because she isn’t really living. Over time she develops something similar to a personality. And I love that. This is actually not a complaint.  Sure she reminds me of dried toast sprinkled with salt but it fits. It fits her character just nicely.

Her love interest Aston is awesome. He is sweet and just so awes. The only thing I do not like about him is how quickly he develops feelings for Felix. I mean he saw her once and automatically made a comment that he wanted to marry her. That was a bit creepy but again it fit. He was a complete loner growing up and had few people he trusted. He has never been in an actual relationship so he is like a little baby seeing their hand for first time. Had crushes for before but really doesn’t know what to do with these feelings because he always gets hurt in the end.

Due to the strange personalities and situations this story may be hard to read for some people. I found it to be refreshing is some areas but for the most part it is extremely descriptive and at times monotone. I did not get a visual of what was going on and had to skip a few pages just to find something a little more interesting.

The idea itself is wonderful and the characters are a nice change. The writing was a tad bit bland as stated above.

Despite all that I look forward to reading other books by this author. I believe that she has some amazing ideas to bring forth and I want to see it all unfold.

I would rate this story a 6/10. High points for originality but a loss of points for the MC. I think was less detective journal and a little more young adult finding herself, I would have rated it higher.

I hope to read more work by Andrea Hintz soon.

Find her on Goodreads and Amazon as well.


Take this poison to your soul
Pants and shirt have got to go

Beg to touch me

Plead and weep

Only for tonight

You won’t get any sleep

Get naked for me baby 

Show me what you got

In this hotel room 

With the doors and windows locked

Forget about the others

I can cheat if you will

They don’t need to know

How we really feel

Grab on to me slowly

 And I will ease inside

Take this poison to your soul

Pants and shirt have got to go

Beg to touch me

Plead and weep

Only for tonight

You won’t get any sleep

Get naked for me baby 

Show me what you got

In this hotel room 

With the doors and windows locked

Forget about the others

I can cheat if you will

They don’t need to know

How we really feel

Grab on to me slowly

And I will ease inside

Bonded Fate

 Arms held close

A dream I fear will boast

Gently swing me by

As I  clutch a desire to die

It will all get better soon

Bodies hundled in this drab room

Needle pointed to my eyes

“Quickly now” cries deaths disguise.

A part of me is buried deep

Under which wounds do weep

I question it’s sanity

Yet hate the clarity

All while trying to lose the key

It’s breaking


Breaking free

held together by blades of soul

helpless pain that will not go

Once death has taken me close

I fear that which remains shall destroy evermore. 

Wednesday 1




~January 4 Question: What writing rule do you wish you’d never heard?~


Proper grammar has always been a pain. For one I write poetry and if you really wanted someone like me to know proper grammar you should have chosen a different way to teach it to me. (That was a run on sentience)

Why do we try to teach children different writing rules while also making them read works by those who ignored said rules.

Has anyone actually paid attention to Milton?  Dante’s Inferno? Maybe even freaking Sylvia Path??

Ok sure those are not books we read in our young years but I did and they stayed with me. They were the stories that held my attention the best. These people and stories also wrote things they didn’t always require a period.

Or they started a sentience with the wrong words. You are not supposed to start a sentience with “Or”

But I write poems though. Those rules do not apply to my form of writing and yet I was taught them. I was taught basic grammar with my examples being from the most incorrect books ever.

So many writing rules. So little time. I rather so screw it all and write how I feel is right.

Sure it is wrong but I never cared to begin with. I paid attention enough just to barely pass and that’s it.

It is funny because I know this will have a ton of mistakes but to me is makes loads of sense. That is what makes it all unique.

I am sorry for the headache that may come from reading this. Disclaimers go at the beginning…

How did I manage to pass English you ask. I read way to much and annoyed my teachers that’s how.



Blood letting disease 

He can taste it, the blood flowing through her veins ; as though it has already spilled upon his lips. He can feel it, clear as day, her finger nails grazing across his face as she desperately tries to get away. He can hear it, her pleas for release. Her sudden sigh of happiness when he let’s her get a sudden glimpse of freedom before he suddenly takes it away. He can see it all and it hasn’t even started yet. The chase, the capture, the sweet feeling of the kill.

He wants it to last.

He needs it to last.

This time it just has to…
This time he can’t afford any mistakes. He wants to savior it before it all comes to an end. They are gaining the control he is losing. Soon they will upon him and nothing will stop them from ending his very life.

He is not scared though. No he relishes the idea of them finding him. He wants them to discover his secrets. Just not yet, right now he wants to hold one more heart in his hands. He wants to hear those darling pleas he has come to love so much.

He just needs one more chance, once done he will gladly hand over his life.

Just one more touch. One more taste. Once more he wants to witness pretty blue eyes filled with tears.

Torch me 2017

First of all sorry for any and all errors you are about to see. It wasn’t my attention to offend. Truly, blame my middle and high school teachers. They are the ones who passed me with honors.

Hi, my name is Jessi. I am a 23-year-old single mom to one. My favorite all time hobbies are reading and writing. You wouldn’t know that though. Cause while I read peoples blogs I have the bad habit of not doing it faithfully. You may go weeks without hearing a thing from me only for one day get on and see a crap ton of likes and comments I have sent you.

Not really my fault, as my teachers used to say, I have the attention span of a dying flea. Something I probably shouldn’t be proud of but I am due to the fact that it was the only thing I remember him saying that year.

I can prove to you that I was well hated by him.

I am a mom. Not one of “those” moms, not see I am just a mom. I am the type who floats around knowing full well that I am making all the mistakes.

I hover and I smother. I cried over silly things and get mad over broken crayons. I am a mom. I do not write nom blogs pretending to be perfect. Not like there is anything wrong with that but it isn’t me. My daughter is my heart, soul, and reason to live. My she is not the reason I live.

I am religious though it doesn’t seem so. I guess I would identify as Christian even though I spent most of my life as Pagan.

I don’t follow a set path, I just love to learn. I like knowing trivial stuff. I wouldn’t say I am smart though, no, just more inclined to remember the stupid things in life.

I love music and to sing. But I can’t sing and my ability to remember lyrics is extremely lacking. Yet I passed every music class I have ever taken.

I was the kind of teen who took all the random classes and yet failed pretty much every required course there was. Mainly cause I was bored and rarely cause I just didn’t understand. Useless trivia remember?!

I am 23 years old. Not much to say about that. I mean I managed to accomplish the one thing everyone else reading this was…being born.
I am writing this because this past year has been eventful.
A full year of me sticking to with this blog. An actual year even though I made this nearly three years ago. I did it.
My goal was to reach 200 followers. I failed in that goal but came to find that the number of followers doesn’t matter if no one is willing to commit to say if they liked or disliked something. If they are not willing to review then what is the point to it all? Basically preaching to an empty classroom.

So followers no longer matter. I still love it when I get one though. I love it even more when they stop by to tell me how they feel. It makes me happy when people express their reactions to me.
So that goal wasn’t met but that’s ok. Live and let learn right!

My newest goal is to keep writing. To live for me. To write what I want to write and not what others feel is best. I write trauma. I make people sad and I break their hearts. I force them to think. Sure it hurts but it opens minds and lets eyes see.
This year I will be me.

Bless me

I say words I don’t mean

I hold on to things that no longer bring me joy

I try to taste the past out of reach




Better days.

Bless me cause I can’t breathe

Keep striving for different things

But matter will never change

Bless me and hope for better days.

I love to write but it doesn’t mean that it is always going to sound good.

Not everything I write will win a reward. Some things will be damn near cringe worthy. Still…I write.

I write because it brings me joy. I write because it is the one gift I have to pass on to my baby girl.

I write to make you think and feel.

I write because it is the only way to show I am here.