I had someone I loved dearly. A person who had made me smile so much. All through high school I knew this person, but something changed.
See people love to lie. Once high school end there is no magical reconnection. No one stays in touch. People move away. Go off to college and change. Either maturing are staying their loveable, but distant, self.
That’s what happened. She matured as I stayed the same. It wasn’t like she stopped talking. No it is was me. I was sick and going through a lot. Homeless and desperate. I didn’t want people to see me like this.
Still I loved seeing how people lived their lives. Even if we didn’t talk, social media had a way of forcing people to stay in touch.
Time went past and I heard rumors.
I didn’t believe them. Didn’t want to believe them. Even as I saw pictures….all I could die was hide and cry.
I don’t know why I hated myself…I just did. I hated everything about myself. I needed to blame myself for those rumors.
Time passed more and I was forced to face reality. Was forced to realize that my friend was gone. She died from cancer.
Cancer took my beautiful friend and made her into an angel.
Those rumors I tried so hard to ignore. The pictures of her hooked to tubes and getting sicker by the minute. I thought that she would get better. That I would wake up.
By the time I understood it was to late. To late to tell her I love her.
To late to ask forgiveness for being so selfish.
I was selfish to think of things that way.
In high school we had a game. New freshman were adopted by older students. Taken under their wings and treated like one would treat their son or daughter. Some would even call that upper classmen their parent or uncle/aunt. It was a wonderful game we did.
It came back to bite me though.
My beautiful friend faded away…my lovely baby girl.
There is nothing I could do but I wish it had been me. She had a future..I was just some homeless teen without a life to look forward to. She was going to be something..be a someone.
Instead cancer took her. She was my freshman..she was my junior..my sophomore…my senior…
She is my angel now and I would do anything to bring her back to be my friend again.