My daughter peed on me at the hospital once. Not like a little piddle but full force pee.
Guess it was my fault really. She was sick and I, like every first time parent, rushed her to the emergency room. Tears in my eyes I asked for help not knowing at the time she had but a simple cold.
No! To me she had an encurable illness brought on my being bundled to much..or was it to little. I just needed to know! 
So I took her in and well…you know that little  thermometer they stick in kids butt when they are to little and squirm to much.
Yeah…well… I let them use that. She didn’t seem to find anything wrong with it. Though I was promptly punished for it. She peed on me..like all of me. My leg was covered with fresh baby pee. I was so happy I started crying again.

So I brought her home after hours of sitting there. She had a cold…did I tell you that… and put her to bed.
This whole time I forgot I was covered in pee. Went home, put her to bed, went to eat dinner, went back, feed her, and went to bed.

To this day I still don’t understand why it took me nearly four hours to take off those pee pee pants.