***Warning. This will touch on a very delicate subject for some and could be triggering. This deals with sexual abuse as a child. If you are unable to read about such things please skip over this post. I don’t write about this often so feel free to read my other stories. Thank you ****
As a child I was free
I didn’t have very many dreams
But I could dance and I could sing
I could be just about anything
I was poor though, no money in sight
I remember all those sleepless nights
All those times my family would fight
Trivial things in a child eyes
Things that could easily be solved
Just by being nice
But one day
Careless as can be
I was held and I was hurt
I was told such hurtful words
What I craved
I become a slave
To that place
I was 8
When I first learned hate
I was 9
When I first wanted to die
I was 10
When I begin to sin
Cursing through my veins was insane
Try it again
I will hurt you
I will hate you with my whole being
I will make you as broken as me
My grandmother sat there
Heard and didn’t care
Gave me a warning
The night is was near
She fucking knew
His intent was to go deeper
But sweet revenge wouldn’t allow that
I was 8
The day I decided to kill a man
I was 9 when I had dreams about doing it
And over again.
He is alive by the grace of God
He is alive because death would be
Suffer he now as time goes on
I suffer more
As ages past
I am 22 now
I hate my past
I hate so much
I want to die
I want to take
That putrid worms life
There is someone who needs me more.
So suffer the children who must make do
Who must go on
Live and be held by someone who alway knew.
Least time heals all wounds
Time heals some wounds.
Very strong poem, lots of emotion even in the words. Performed I expect it would be heartbreaking to hear.
No-one should have to suffer like that, no-one should be able to get away with abusing a child. You are a brave and strong soul to keep moving forward.
That is very powerful. It can’t have been easy to write.
It was… but it was in my head and needed to come out.